I am a writer. I love everything there is about the process of putting words onto paper. My only regret? That I didn’t attempt to make a living at it! I was well into my forties by the time that I realized I really am good enough to write. You will find many writers have low self esteem when it comes to their writing ability. They can be confident and exude charm, but when it comes to pen to paper they turn into a ten year old child. I started gaining a bit of confidence when various friends saw what I wrote – an email here or there, a written report at work. Then came along a blog that I have about my cancer and people really took notice. The only problem? I pictured these people, some I know well, others not so much, reading it and wondering, “What does she mean by this or that?”. Sometimes I feel like I am even possibly being judged. That puts a damper on the writing, as I write from my heart and from my gut. It ends up being very personal. That is the type of writer that I am; emotional and raw. I talk to many writers about this feeling; everyone seems to feel judged somehow. And since my other blog is written completely about my cancer, it’s can at times be a very private affair.
Please bear with me while I get this blog into the format I would like. I’m not particularly fond of the jumbled “justathoughtinmymind” but after trying to change the words to something that can be easily understood, I got a reply back from WordPress saying that this task cannot be completed right now – and try back in a few days! I’m sure I’ll find some other interesting details and some changes in appearance that I can do with WordPress.
The photo at the top of my blog is of my “kids” in Tofino, B.C., Canada. A beautiful area, one that I would enjoy eventually returning to. The photo was taken during the spring before last, but when I had not yet been diagnosed with my Stage 4 breast cancer that had metastasized to various parts of my body. I remember wondering on that trip why I was so tired, and why walking a short length of the beach would leave me exhausted. I soon found out. I feel better – my tumours have shrunk in size, and I no longer have debilitating pain in my back and ribs. I can walk relatively pain-free – and I want to walk that beach once again, this time a walk of someone who is surviving this disease. Now, as one last learning task for the day, I think I’m going to include some photos below:
The photos are taken of, you guessed it, Tofino, B.C.